A Lifetime of Cussin'

I love Lifetime movies. Embarassing as it is, I must admit it. There's something to be said for the formulaic, anticlimactic nature of a Lifetime movie. You will never be surprised, there's virtually no suspense, and they always find a way to tie things up nicely at the end. If you want to watch television without paying attention to it, you can with a Lifetime movie. Your brain is allowed to take a vacation while the characters flit across the screen, acting out re-fried melodrama ad nauseam.

Most, if not all of the movies involve some ill-fated love affair. The victim is almost always a woman, and it always takes her much longer than it should to realize that her boyfriend/spouse/lover/best friend-turned-lover-turned-spouse is betraying her. About halfway through the movie, the woman suddenly turns on her brain, and she spends the next 55 minutes trying to outsmart her man. She almost always does, and then the credits roll.

What I wonder is what would happen to Lifetime movies if they allowed cursing and nudity. Would they even exercise their right to show boobies and throw f-bombs? Would that take away from the saccharine melodrama, adding unecessary grit and tawdryness to otherwise pedestrian fare? Lifetime is a cable network, after all. Can someone please arrange it? For once, I'd like to hear a woman vent her frustrations in true four-letter fashion.